Pissed Off
by summerleigh81
Summary: My entry for the "AwkWard" contest. A dorky Edward meets a beautiful Bella at the beach and what's the first thing he does? Rated M for language.


**The "AwkWard Contest"**

**Story Title: Pissed Off**

**Pen Name: summerleigh81**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**To see other entries in the "AwkWard" contest, please visit the C2: www(dot)fan fiction(dot)net/community/AwkWard_Contest/78356/**

**This story is rated M for language. **

_**Pissed Off**_

**EPOV**

I was sitting on the hot sand because I didn't bring a towel or a chair. Coming to the beach wasn't something I ordinarily did which was probably obvious by the way I shifted uncomfortably on the scorching sand. I was trying to lean on my hands, but fell backwards when I yanked them out from underneath myself because they felt like they were on fire. I was now lying flat on my back in the sand and could feel it becoming embedded in my unruly hair. The high noon sun was beating down on me and if that wasn't blinding then the beads of sweat that were rolling into my eyes were.

I was supposed to meet my brothers, Jasper and Emmett, almost an hour ago, but by now I had accepted that they blew me off yet again to spend time with their girlfriends. I knew that I was the fifth wheel, but they didn't have to keep standing me up like this. First it was the movie theatre and then the pizza joint. If I sat here and thought about it long enough I'd probably start crying like a baby.

After the tenth person walked by and laughed at my nose, which was completely white with sunscreen, I wiped it off with my shirt. So, now as I sat in the blazing sun I had to accept that I was probably getting Melanoma because I was vain and self conscious. I put on my fisherman style hat that had designs of paisley fish on it and hoped that that was enough to keep the skin cancer at bay. I wasn't even wearing swim trunks, instead opting to wear a white t-shirt and jeans with tennis shoes which were now sticky with sweat and full of sand and since I didn't like contacts I had my rather large glasses on instead of sunglasses.

I wasn't a good swimmer and even if I was, I was strongly opposed to swimming in the ocean where things like urchins and jellyfish lived. Oh, and let's not forget sharks. Yeah, really big sharks were a good enough reason to stay out of the ocean if you asked me, but unfortunately no one did ask me and judging by all the people in the water, they did not share my opinion anyway.

I looked down at myself and realized how out of place I really was. Not only by attire, but I didn't enjoy any of the reasons why people even come to the beach. I obviously wasn't social, my pale skin could attest to the fact that I didn't like to sunbathe, I wasn't athletic for volleyball, and I sure as hell wasn't going to get into the ocean so why was I even here? Oh yeah, my wonderful brothers were supposed to meet me here. I was being such a crybaby about the whole thing that I really couldn't blame them for not showing up. Maybe it wasn't their girlfriends at all, maybe it was just me. This thought just made me feel more depressed and I decided to make the long trek back to my car.

I trudged through the sand and I couldn't wait to get to the parking lot so I could empty my shoes and get a big drink of water because I was pretty sure I was dehydrating or perhaps developing sunstroke.

I was looking down at my feet as I walked because it was a good way to avoid people's critical looks and that's when I felt my shoulder get bumped by something hard. I looked up to see a blonde with a very large chest in a very small bikini who was carrying an umbrella, the thing which hit me; she smiled and apologized before walking away. I mumbled something in return, but before I could start walking again something near the water caught my eye.

No, not something, _someone_ had caught my eye. The most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She had long brown hair that cascaded down her back and rested right underneath her bottom. It covered her like a beautiful shawl of mahogany curls. She had on shorts and a tank top and she was carrying her sandals in one of her hands. I looked all around her, but didn't see anyone else with her. I was surprised because I knew why I was alone, I was a dork, but she was the most gorgeous thing that had ever walked this Earth, I was sure of it, and I couldn't fathom why she was alone. I guess some people actually choose to be alone, but I never had much of a choice.

I found myself walking closer to the ocean instead of closer to the parking lot and I continued to walk along the shoreline as she walked in the shallow water. I was a few feet away from her in the sand, that was continuing to seep its way into my shoes, and every once in awhile I would sneak a glance over at her and see her brush her hair out of her eyes as it waved in the breeze or she would look out towards the seemingly endless ocean and smile and I would've killed to have known what she was thinking. She wasn't exactly walking and she wasn't exactly skipping, but it was carefree and intriguing just the same. I tried to mimic it and failed, so I just resumed my ungraceful trudging.

All of a sudden I heard her shout and if it wasn't for the fact that she was shouting obscenities and clearly hurt I would have been giddy to finally hear her voice.

"!" She yelled right before she plopped down on the wet sand. She hadn't been able to make it back to the dry beach and the waves were still within reach of her and getting her wet, but she didn't seem to care or notice. She had tears in her eyes as she looked at her foot which she had propped up on her knee and then I saw her close her eyes and take a deep breath. It must've hurt like hell. Case and point, this is why I don't go into the ocean.

I didn't even think before I ran towards her and did what first came to mind. I peed on her. I don't know why the very first thing I thought of when I approached the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my life was to pee on her, but that's exactly what I did. I just wanted to make whatever pain she was feeling from the sea creature sting to go away.

After I started to pee on her foot she opened her eyes, rather quickly might I add, and the profanities started again.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?! You crazy motherfucker, did you just pee on me!?" She was screaming at me and the anger and shock in her face was something that I had no comparison for and I'm pretty sure if she wasn't injured she would be beating the crap out of me.

"I…um...you're supposed to pee on a jellyfish sting and I think sea urchin and maybe a sting ray sting too." I didn't really know because I didn't want to know, but I was nervous and started to ramble.

"You idiot! I stepped on a piece of fucking glass and cut my foot and now your urine is in said cut! Ugh, oh my God!" Everything she had said thus far was a scream, but I just stood there quietly as she frantically splashed salt water all over her wound and whimpered from the stinging it undoubtedly caused.

I became rather nervous of the spectacle we were causing and looked around to see if someone was about to approach us. I'm not sure, but relieving yourself on someone is probably illegal, so I really hoped that I wouldn't be spending the night in jail. I set aside my selfish thoughts and directed my attention back to the girl.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was just uh…" _I'm just in love with you _I thought with a sigh and then continued. "I just wanted to help you." I added in a sad voice.

"Well, clearly your piss has helped me tremendously." She said sarcastically, but I almost smiled because her voice was quite beautiful when she wasn't shouting obscenities at me. Oh, who was I kidding it was beautiful either way.

She tried to get up and I couldn't help but to put my arms out to help her which she promptly refused and swatted at them.

"I do not need your help. What I do need is some alcohol, peroxide, and Neosporin right fucking now." She said with a scowl as she rinsed her foot a few more times.

"Actually, you wouldn't need alcohol _and _peroxide." I said matter-of-factly as I pushed my glasses up my nose.

"Ugh, the alcohol is for here" She pointed to her mouth. "and the peroxide is for there." She pointed to her foot which I finally got a good look at.

"Oh my, it's bleeding pretty badly. I should get you to a doctor."

"Oh no" She said weakly while one second she was looking down at her foot and the next she was tipping backwards.

I caught her in my arms and picked her up out of the cold water.

"Put me down. The smell of blood makes me sick." Her voice was nowhere near the yelling capacity it was once at and I was afraid that she was going to pass out at any second.

"I can't put you down. You'll get sand in your wound."

"Oh, which would be way worse than your fucking pee!" There's my yelling girl. Hey, I wonder what her name is?

"Actually, urine is sterile." I said like the nerd I was and continued to walk.

"Yeah, until it sits and festers that's when all the bacteria grows and …oh my god I need that alcohol!" I guess she was still talking about for her consumption or perhaps she had decided to share it between her foot and her mouth.

"Actually, you're right. Don't put me down I hope I fucking puke on you and that would make us even since you peed on me!" Ok, clearly she was not going to let this go easily.

"I'm really sorry, but I'll make this up to you." I said desperately.

"Really, how? I have no desire to pee on you if that's what you're getting at. I hope that's not your _thing _or something." She said seriously and I laughed at her.

She was either feeling more tired or more comfortable because she laid her head on my shoulder. I loved the feeling of her being close. I was trying not to feel self conscious because I was sweaty and I'm sure smelly, but she didn't seem to care, so I decided to just enjoy the feeling of not being alone.

"No, it's not my _thing._" I said a little too defensively, but I don't think I even had a thing…wait, never mind. "My father is a doctor and he can take a look at your foot." I said with great hope that she would actually agree to go with me.

"Fine" She mumbled not moving or opening her eyes and I was so glad when I finally reached the pavement of the parking lot.

"Just hurry, I can feel the germs in my foot." She whined and I fought hard not to laugh at her again.

We finally reached the car and I gently put her in the passenger seat. I walked around to my side and emptied my sand filled shoes onto the pavement as I leaned against my silver Volvo. I put them back on before I got in because I didn't want to drive wearing my sweat, soaked socks and no shoes. When I opened the car door I heard her whimpering and I assumed it was because her foot was still bleeding, so once again I did the first thing that came to mind and luckily it had nothing to do with urinating on her. I took off my shirt and slid into the car and took her foot into my hand. Even though I was already hot and sweating profusely I could still feel an odd warmness, almost electrical, when our skin touched and I quickly wrapped the shirt around her foot and tied it.

When I was finished I let her foot fall into my lap so she could keep it elevated and I looked up at her. She was staring at me now that I was sitting there shirtless and all of a sudden I felt very self conscious being half naked in front of this beautiful creature.

"I, um, didn't have anything else to wrap your foot in." I said sheepishly as I started the car and rolled down the windows to cool it down a little.

"No, that's quite alright. I just never, um, oh never mind you know how good looking you are, without your shirt it's just unfair." She let her head fall back onto the seat belt as if it was a hammock and she sat crooked in her seat because her foot was still on my leg. I was afraid that she had gone delirious and passed out and that's when I realized that I still didn't know her name.

"Uh…Miss?" This got her attention and she opened her eyes instantly.

"Bella" She said quietly and I smiled, it was the perfect name for her.

"Edward" I said and she smiled back.

"You're not going to pass out are you, Bella? I mean when you start thinking my paleness is attractive is when I start fearing that you are no longer in your right mind." I laughed like I was joking, but really I wasn't.

She coughed and pointed down to her very long, very bare legs one of which was sprawled out on my lap. "And what were you saying about paleness being unattractive?" She teasingly asked me.

"Not _you_, your skin is lovely, although I hope you're wearing sunscreen, but mine…"

"Whatever, germs here remember?" She asked while waving her hand towards her foot. "I hope your father is really a doctor because my father really is a police chief, so if you plan on keeping me locked in your basement or something you should just think again." She threatened me and for such a little thing she really did sound menacing.

"No, he really is a doctor and I should call him so he's prepared with your alcohol and Neosporin." I said reassuringly while taking my phone out to call him before I started driving. The phone was ringing, but Bella continued to talk in the background.

"And peroxide, and iodine, and penicillin, and…" She was going on and on, but once my dad answered I didn't hear her anymore.

"Hello"

"Hi, Dad, I'm on my way home from the beach and a _friend _of mine stepped on a piece of glass do you think you can take a look at it? _She's_ not feeling very well; she doesn't do well with the sight of blood." I explained in a nervous voice.

I saw Bella squint her eyes at me when I said the word friend and I shrugged my shoulders like '_What else was I supposed to say?' _and she must've agreed because she laid her head back and closed her eyes again. I don't think my dad would've been too proud if I would've said "some girl I just urinated on" My father had pretty low expectations for me in the girl department, but I had to say that this was bad…even for me.

It sounded like my dad was going to say no about bringing my friend to the house for medical care, but then when he heard the female pronoun he got really chipper.

"Oh sure, Son, bring her by and I'll take a look at it." He said enthusiastically.

"I think she needs stitches." I whispered because I was afraid that Bella would freak out about needles since she freaked out so much about blood. "Oh, and you should have every antiseptic you have in the house ready and waiting for when we get there…don't ask." I said with a sigh.

He didn't ask and we said our goodbyes before I hung up the phone.

"I've had more stitches than I care to count, Edward. As long as he disinfects my foot, several times, I'll be just fine." Bella said feigning braveness.

"Ok, we'll be there in about twenty minutes." I said while pulling out onto the street.

"Twenty minutes! I'll have Gangrene and need an amputation in twenty minutes!" She yelled hysterically.

"Um, ok so I'll just take you to the emergency room, but we could be waiting for a lot longer than twenty minutes there." I said nervously.

"No, you're right and I hate hospitals. We'll just go to your house. Sorry, I yelled I've just had a really bad day…and it's only 1 o'clock." She said sadly while looking down at her watch.

"I'm sorry. Really, I am so sorry." I felt really bad and I hoped that she knew I was being sincere. I didn't think I would see her after dad looked at her foot and then I guess she would just remember me as the douche that pissed on her and that just made me even sadder.

"I know." She said weakly and brushed a tear of her cheek. "It's not just this. My friends have been assholes lately and I'm just tired and the sun is in my eyes." She started to whine and put her hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun.

"Here" I said as I put my hat on her head and she promptly pulled it down to cover her eyes and then mumbled something that sounded like 'Don't think you're getting this back.'

"So, did you need to call someone and let them know where you are? I didn't even ask if you were with someone at the beach." I said while trying to sound casual.

"No, that's actually a part of my problem. Never mind it's a long story, but yeah I suppose I should call my friend since I guess we were going to do something later. Can I use your phone I left mine in my car?"

"Sure, here you go." I said as I handed her my phone.

She dialed some numbers then I heard a little gasp.

"Why do you have Alice's number programmed into your phone?" She asked me incredulously.

"What? Alice Brandon?" I was a little caught off guard by her question.

"Yeah, do you know her?"

"Well yeah, she's my brother's girlfriend."

"Your brother is Jasper Cullen?"

"No, that's not my brother. You mean Alice is dating someone else?" I asked feigning shocked.

Bella's face grew even more pale and it looked like she was about to puke. I instantly regretted what I had said. I should just quit trying to be funny or helpful because it never seemed to work out when I did.

"I'm kidding, Bella. I'm just kidding."

"Ugh, you're lucky that your driving otherwise I would kick you!" I believed her because I could feel her leg twitching in my lap as she fought the urge to cause me harm. She settled down slightly before she continued speaking. "So, Jasper's your brother. I guess I can stop worrying about being locked in your basement." She said cynically.

After she seemed to be lost in thought for a little while, she finally pushed the button on the phone. The phone rang several times, the voicemail picked up, and Bella left a message which I couldn't help, but to overhear within the confines of the car.

"Hey slut, I was just calling to let you know I'm with a friend, but I'll meet you at the club tonight. See ya' then, peace."

It seemed like an odd enough message, but Bella seemed like a pretty odd girl…said the guy that just peed on someone. Of course she was odd in a cool, unique way. I was just odd in the weird way.

"So, you think you'll be ok to walk on your foot to go out tonight?"

"Fuck no, I will probably take several Advil and go to bed, but after that biotch stood me up again today she can just sit there and wait for my ass. That is if she even bothers to show up maybe she'll be too busy bumpin' uglies with Jasper to leave her apartment." She said with a huff and an eye roll.

"You're quite blunt aren't' you?" I asked rhetorically because I didn't want to think about my brother 'bumping' anything.

"I guess so." She said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"So, I guess all of them are having a great time without us since my brothers have stood me up a lot lately, too." I said in a resentful tone.

"Assholes" She grumbled and I noticed that she was nearly asleep.

We finally pulled into the driveway and I leaned over to whisper to her to wake up, but my body accidentally pressed against the seat belt release button which caused it to recoil and the buckle hit Bella in the face.

"Fuck! What the hell is wrong with you!?" She yelled as she hit my arm and then rubbed her cheek.

"I didn't mean to…I just…and then the seat belt." I wasn't making much sense so I just looked down.

"Sure, sure, whatever just take me to the peroxide." Bella said in a softened tone with her arms outstretched and a small smile on her face.

I quickly got out of the car and rushed to her door and carried her in the house. We passed my mom on the way and she gave us a big smile.

"Hi, Mrs. Cullen" Bella greeted my mom nicely.

"Oh my, Bella, did you fall down again? I hear you're pretty clumsy?" She said with a laugh. Well, that's nice my mother has met the woman of my dreams before and so have my brothers, but I had to meet her by urinating all over her.

"Actually, I stepped on a piece of glass, a _dirty_ piece of glass." She said while accentuating the word dirty and tugging on my arm as if it was reigns and I was a horse.

"Yes, Mom her foot was bleeding badly, so I better get her up to Dad." I said while trying to escape quickly.

"Ok, Sweetie." My mom said to me while patting my head and I think my whole face turned red. My escape had not been quick enough.

"I hope you feel better, Bella." She called out while I made a mad dash for the stairs. I knew my mom couldn't make me look any worse than I had already made myself look, but still she wasn't helping.

Bella laid her head back on my shoulder like she had done when we were leaving the beach and I smiled bigger than ever because I knew she couldn't see my goofy grin. I finally reached my father's office and struggled slightly to open the door and not drop Bella at the same time. Lucky for me I did not drop her, although I may have bumped her head on the door, but only a little.

"Hey Dad, I hope you have some iodine or something ready." I said just to appease Bella.

"Yes, let's take a look at this foot." He said with a warm smile. He was a very well respected doctor and could always put a patient at ease.

I put Bella on the leather, chaise lounge and she shifted around nervously which made me nervous, too. Dad was standing in front of her with my mother's silver, serving tray with various things on it sitting on the table that was pulled up right next to him. I thought that perhaps I should excuse myself. My father had turned around to his desk to put on rubber gloves and I leant down to whisper in Bella's ear, this time not hitting her with anything in the face.

"Do you want me to wait downstairs?" I whispered.

She shook her head vehemently and grabbed onto my jeans and tugged on them. I assumed it was signally me to sit down, so I did.

"Please stay." She whispered.

My father slowly and carefully removed the blood soaked shirt from Bella's foot. She winced in pain and grabbed my arm while burying her face against my bare skin. I could tell my father noticed how uncomfortable she was and he tried to engage her in conversation. In other circumstances I would have enjoyed the nice sensation of Bella's cheek pressed against me, but I was a little preoccupied with worrying about how she was doing.

"So, Bella, I don't believe I've seen you since yours and Alice's graduation party." My father said while trying to make small talk.

I frowned to myself and wondered why I hadn't been invited to the party, but then after today's events an explanation really wasn't necessary.

"Yes, it was a very lovely gathering. Alice organized it all herself of course." She laughed a little, but I could tell it was fake. She had beads of sweat on her forehead and her grip on my arm was growing tighter by the second.

"Well, it looks like there are several small shards of glass still in your foot that I will need to remove before I stitch this up." His voice was calm and professional.

I felt Bella's head shake back and forth against my arm and it was like she wanted to say something, but couldn't get the words out.

"I think Bella would like you to disinfect her foot before you remove the glass." I stated confidently.

"I will thoroughly flush out the wound and disinfect the area before I begin stitching." He announced in his doctor tone while reaching for a small set of tweezers and a glass dish and this made Bella squeeze the life out of my arm.

"She would like you to disinfect it before _and_ after." I said matter-of-factly and Bella's death grip began to loosen. Thank God.

"Are you a mind reader now?" My father jokingly questioned me.

Bella just nodded her head furiously and he did as she wished. He cleaned the wound and then removed the glass. He then cleaned it again and also disinfected the whole area of her foot as he applied some numbing cream and began stitching her foot. He talked easily explaining what he was doing, when she should come back to get them removed, and telling her how all of his instruments were sterile. I smirked at that, but Bella didn't see it. I just patted her back reassuringly and she began to relax after I whispered to her that it was nearly over.

"So, Dr. Cullen are you a surgeon? You have very steady hands." She said in a pleasant, calm voice.

"No, actually I'm an OB/GYN" He said casually, but I wasn't sure how this was going to play out, probably not in my favor knowing my luck.

"Seriously, Edward?" She growled at me and looked up at me furiously. "You brought me to a vagina doctor? No offense, Dr. Cullen." She added at the end because I think she forgot he was still here.

"None taken" He said while giving a small indifferent nod. I think he was far too amused by the situation to be offended.

I didn't have a response for her and I'm sure at that moment my face resembled Christmas. It first turned bright red from embarrassment and then green with the nausea I felt.

_Oh God, please do not let me vomit on her._

I quickly apologized and excused myself. I went to my room and put on a clean t-shirt and freshened up in the restroom. After I had splashed cold water on my face I felt better. I just hoped that when I returned Bella would not continue yelling or say the word 'vagina' again.

When I re-entered my father's study he was finishing up his explanation that he wasn't merely a gynecologist, but he did in fact perform several surgeries and did many stitches on a weekly basis. She said she stood corrected and would need no further explanation as she held her hand out and he chuckled as he finished wrapping the bandage around her foot.

"At least I'm not an urologist or a veterinarian." He laughed at his own joke and after Bella's cheeks turned a furious shade of red and she laughed too.

They both looked up at me as I stood in the doorway unsure as to what I should do next.

"Oh good, there you are. Will you please bring an ice pack and a glass of water from the kitchen for Bella?"

"Sure thing" I said trying to sound suave and I might have if I didn't try to wink at Bella, which I think turned out to be more of both my eyes blinking simultaneously, and then I turned around and walked right into the door. I quickly recovered and raced down the stairs. While I was on my way to the kitchen my phone rang in my pocket.

"Hey, Emmett" I said nonchalantly.

"Hey, little bro I couldn't remember what time I told you to meet us at the beach. Rose says I told you the wrong time."

"Yeah, whatever, I'm actually busy so I'll catch up with you later?"

"Oh ok, Eddie that sounds great." He sounded unsure, probably because he was caught off guard that I was actually busy. "So, we're going to this great club downtown and Rose and Alice's friend is going to be there too, so you won't have to feel out of place." Yeah right, like the most beautiful girl in the world is supposed to make a dork like myself feel not out of place at a crowded club.

"I'm sure if she's half as lovely as your ladies then she would want nothing to do with me." I said sadly because I knew exactly how true that was.

"Edward,-" He started to scold me, but I cut him off.

"Ok, Em I'll see you tonight." And then I hung up.

After I got a glass of water and a bag of frozen peas, because I couldn't find an actual ice pack, I ran back upstairs only to have to turn around and run all the way back down because I thought I should grab a dish towel so Bella's foot didn't freeze off from the makeshift ice pack.

I finally walked back into the office with the water in one hand, the peas in the other, and a dish towel draped over my shoulder. As soon as I opened the door my eyes met Bella's and her face lit up with the most beautiful smile. I couldn't help but to smile back and I tried really hard to commit the beautiful image to memory because I still feared that I wouldn't see her again. She was sitting sideways on the lounge and her foot was propped up with a pillow.

"So, your dad tells me that you play that massive piano we passed on the way up here." 

"Yes, I do. Perhaps I could play for you sometime." I said with a smile as I pushed my glasses up my nose with the side of my hand effectively hitting myself with the bag of peas.

"That would be nice." She said thoughtfully while nodding slightly and I couldn't tell if she was being serious or just polite.

I handed Bella the water and my dad gave her a couple of Tylenol as I wrapped the bag of peas in the towel and placed it on her foot. I sat in the small space that remained on the chaise lounge and held the ice pack to her foot. Her head fell back to the arm rest and a small moan escaped her luscious lips. I was glad that my father had taken a phone call and Bella's eyes were closed so they couldn't see me staring with my mouth agape.

"Um, did you want me to take you to your car?" Shit, why did I say that? I didn't want her to go and if she _did_ want me to take her to her car she would've asked. I was so busy scolding myself, yet again, that I nearly missed the almost sad looking expression on Bella's face. Lucky for me, my father was there to intercede before I made a bigger ass of myself. Was that even possible? Knowing me it probably was.

"She really isn't up for driving for the day, but maybe after dinner we could drive her home and I can follow you while you drive Bella and her car to her house." He said while hanging up the phone.

"Oh, I really wouldn't want to be any more trouble than I've already been." She protested.

"Nonsense, Bella, It's absolutely no trouble at all." My father assured her and I stupidly nodded my head like a mute.

"Maybe you would like to rest in my bed before dinner. I bet those pills will make you drowsy." I blurted out and then hoped that my desire to get her in my bed wasn't too obvious.

She nodded her head with a smile and I quickly scooped her up and headed towards my room. It seemed like my father had a moment of hesitation while I was leaving to carry a beautiful girl up to my room, but then he must've remembered who he was dealing with because he remained silent.

I put her on my bed and grabbed a pillow to put under her leg and put the ice pack back on her foot.

"Wow, you're room is great." She said while looking around. "You even have a balcony, that's so cool! I bet that makes it easy to sneak the girls in." She nudged my arm and winked at me which caused me to blush like a little girl.

"Or the boys, you know whatever." She said with a shrug as I stood there looking like a fish as I repeatedly opened my mouth, but then closed it again because I was utterly at a loss for words.

"Oh Edward, I was just kidding." She said with an adorable laugh and I enjoyed the way she had said my name far too much.

"You know, you're actually the first girl that's even been in my room." Oh my God, why did I just say that?

"Really?" She asked incredulously, but I wasn't sure why. I mean after I had pissed all over her today I wouldn't think that it would seem like an extremely far-fetched concept.

"Oh, is that really so hard to believe? In lieu of an introduction I peed on you. I guess I'm not exactly a ladies' man." I scoffed at myself.

"Yes, there's that." She said as she laughed again and I was pretty sure the medication was kicking in.

"I should really go and see if my mom needs any help with dinner. Do you want me to go get your water or anything?"

"Um, do you have a sweater or something I could wear?" She said while rubbing her arms that her tank top left exposed.

"Yeah, let me go find you something." I ran into the closet and dug out a long sleeved, gray shirt that had a big Spartan head on it. If she decided to steal my shirt _and _my hat I knew I wouldn't miss this guy.

"Here, Bella. How's this?"

"Oh, this is great." She said while slipping it on.

"So, am I not getting my shirt or my hat back?" I asked with a laugh.

"Well, if I had to choose one I would choose the hat, although you looked far cuter in it." She whispered the last part, blushed, and then looked down.

I sat next to her on my bed and put my finger on her chin to lift her head up. Once she was looking at me I slowly inched closer to her all the while not knowing what the hell I was doing. After I successfully bumped her nose with mine, rather hard, our lips met and I kissed her softly and slowly.

I'm no expert, but I would venture to say it was the best first kiss in the history of first kisses. I pulled away and gave a stupid, crooked smile and Bella smiled back. She was so beautiful and I just continued to stare at her.

"Edward?"

"Yeah"

"I'm glad you peed on me."

"I'm glad I peed on you, too."

_**Several Years Later…**_

**EPOV**

We were sitting in the sunroom on the back of our house watching the sunset. It was one of our favorite things to do. Of course, I was in favor of anything that Bella was partaking in also. Since the day I met her on the beach we hadn't spent a whole day apart.

"And this one, Mommy?" A small voice asked.

Our daughter, Renesmee, who was all of three years old, loved to play this game with Bella where Bella would explain all of her scars from the top of her head to the bottom of her foot. She was now on the very last one.

"And this one was from a piece of glass I stepped on at the beach. It hurt very badly." She said animatedly.

"Then Daddy came and saved you!" She exclaimed while clapping her hands.

"That's right." She said with a smile.

"Then you fell in love." Renesemee said sweetly.

"Of course, you know your Daddy is very lovable." She winked at me and Nessie nodded her head in full agreement.

"Then you got married and went to the beach again!" She yelled excitedly and pointed to the photo of our honeymoon that was on the shelf across the room.

I was actually wearing sunglasses and swim shorts and was standing next to Bella who was wearing a white bikini and the hat I was wearing the day we met. We both had huge smiles on our faces.

"That's right, Nessie. That picture was taken right before I dragged Daddy into the ocean with me and he got stung by a jellyfish."

"Poor Daddy" She said while patting my leg.

"It's ok, Ness. It doesn't hurt anymore." I said while smiling at our beautiful daughter and her brown eyes twinkled back at me just like her mother's.

Bella had said that it would've been fitting for her to have pissed all over me, but she couldn't bring herself to do it and she thoroughly doubted the truth in that remedy anyway.

Instead she helped me back to the hotel where they had a doctor come look at it and we spent the rest of the trip in our room. She was very thorough in keeping the wound clean, even though it hadn't been soaked in urine, and we made the best of our honeymoon in spite of it.

Nine months later came Renesmee.

My brothers and her friends had spent so much time scheming on getting us together and pissing us off in the process and really all it took was me peeing on the girl of my dreams.

_**The End**_

**A/N – **

**I hope you enjoyed this story; I had a lot of fun writing it. Let me know what you think! :)**

**Voting is 3/25 – 3/31 at the above posted link, thanks! **


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